Sex and Relationship coaching -begin your journey of self-discovery, liberation, and authenticity.
I’m Valerie - a Somatic Sex and Relationship coach and founder of Shameless Connections.
I help women learn how to discover and understand their desires and comfortably communicate them to partners, work through sexual shame and insecurity, and navigate relationships and sex with confidence.
What I Help With
Working Through Shame and Insecurity
Most of us hear repeated messages throughout our lives that women who enjoy sex are sluts, dirty, and lose their worth when they have sex. For many women, this leads to feeling deep shame about their sexuality, desires, and pleasure. We end up living in our heads instead of our bodies and have trouble fully relaxing into our sexuality and enjoying it as much as we could. One of my main goals is to help my clients start to unlearn these harmful messages and let go of the shame that holds them back. I believe that shedding sexual shame helps women feel better and freer not just in our sexuality, but in every domain of our lives.
Discovering and Communicating Your Desires
Having good sex is a skill. Communicating about sex is a skill. Learning and talking about your desires is a skill. Nobody teaches us how to do this, so why do we expect ourselves to magically be a Sex Goddess? I believe that having great sex and relationships is a teachable, practicable skill. It’s okay if you’re not there yet and it’s okay if you struggle with any aspect of this. I can help you practice these skills, improve, and carry them into the rest of your life.
Navigating Dating and Relationships With Confidence
It’s not a secret to anyone that relationships can be HARD. Our romantic relationships often require us to face our deepest traumas and wounds all while remaining empathetic and understanding to our partner’s traumas and wounds. Sometimes unhealthy, painful patterns emerge. Sometimes communicating feels so hard it’s painful. Sometimes intimacy feels like both the biggest blessing and the biggest curse. I am passionate about helping women feel better in their relationships, learning to communicate more freely, understanding their patterns, and having better relationships.
About Me
While getting my bachelor’s degree in biology, I was already cautiously dreaming of what it would be like to be a sex therapist and sex educator. I have always been fascinated by human relationships, sexuality, and how beautifully complex but entirely human they are. Despite my interest, I did not pursue my dreams at that time. However, life always finds a way and after a few years after my graduation, I returned to this idea with a lot more vigor and commitment and started to pursue my dream in earnest.
I enrolled into a Sex and Relationship Certification program at the Somatica® Institute where I gained in-depth knowledge and practical skills of working with clients in a wide variety of sexuality and relationship topics. The Somatica® method is rooted in helping people connect deeply with their bodies, learn to understand and trust them, and use their body’s signals as a trustworthy guide in sexuality, relationships, and life in general. In my sessions, I create a safe container where women can finally relax, deeply connect with their bodies, let go of sexual shame, and learn to explore their true desires in a somatic, embodied way. I help my clients not only understand their sexuality and desires, but feel empowered in them, communicate them to partners and show up confidently in the world as their unique, beautifully sexual selves.
Currently, in addition to my sex coaching training, I am pursuing a Master’s degree in Couple and Family Counseling at Northeastern Illinois University as a way to deepen my knowledge and clinical skills and expand my scope of practice. In my free time, I enjoy spending time with my partner, eating delicious food, reading, being outside, playing video games, doing and watching improv, and sewing. I can’t wait to connect with you and help you discover your most authentic, fun, and free sexual self.
My Approach
What does working with a somatic sex and relationship coach look like?
You might be familiar with traditional therapy methods and are wondering how sex coaching is different. While both can be incredibly useful, traditional therapy is typically talk based and rarely encourages people to learn how to listen to their bodies. This can be a problem when it comes to sexuality because the roots of our sexuality live deeply in our bodies, not in our heads. Somatic sex coaching is built on the foundation of learning to listen to and trusting your body, and by practicing new skills in a safe, empathetic, and controlled connection with your coach in real time during your sessions.
We'll work through shame
Shame is one of the most powerful drivers of our behavior. It shapes us in ways we can't even fully grasp. Sexuality, in particular, is a source of deep, profound shame for many people - especially women. It acts as a brick wall between you and your sexual freedom and pleasure. Our work together will center on moving through this shame, understanding it, accepting it non-judgmentally, and learning to release it - lots of it.
We'll reconnect you with your body and desires
How many of us walk around every single day having absolutely no idea what our body is telling us, living in our heads and never leaving? Nearly everyone. Our bodies are smarter than we realize. Your sexuality lives in your body - not in your head. When you learn to listen to your body, you gain an understanding of your sexuality beyond what any amount of talking about it can give you. Through somatic exercises, breathwork, and body awareness practices, I'll help you learn how to feel safe in your body, become more attuned to it, and trust it.
We'll practice expression and communication
Once you feel safe in your body and start to understand what it's telling you, we'll practice expressing your feelings and desires. If you're working on relationship communication, we'll practice difficult conversations. If you're exploring sexual expression with partners, we'll practice talking about desires. If you're building dating confidence, we'll practice authentic presence. Our sessions are a safe space to try new ways of communicating before you take them into your real life.
The Process
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Free Consultation
We talk about where you are, your goals, and how we can work towards them.
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60-minute virtual sessions
Tailored to your journey, your goals, your pace. Every session builds on the last.
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Real-world practice
You'll get tools and exercises to use between sessions. The transformation continues beyond our sessions.
Services
6-Session Package - “Shameless”
Ready to become shameless and dive right in? This is the option for you.
$480 $420
Single Session - “Careful”
For those who just want to try it out. No pressure, no commitment.
$80
Ready to try it?
Book a free consultation call with me to learn more.
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Sex therapy traditionally focuses on diagnosing and treating sexual dysfunctions or trauma through a mental health lens - people rarely go to a sex therapist with the perspective of exploration and sexual empowerment. Sex and relationship coaching is there to bridge that gap.
You don't have to have sexual dysfunction to benefit greatly from working with a sex coach. Instead of using traditional talk therapy tools, we actually practice the skills our clients are learning in real time with them. Coaching allows for a more personal connection between the coach and client, leaving space for more support, care, and intimacy.
Sex coaching is not a replacement for therapy or medical treatment. It's simply an additional tool that offers a different approach. Many coaching clients go to therapy concurrently with coaching, or have completed years of therapy before - it's totally okay to explore and try different options!
Please note that as a counseling student, it is beyond the scope of my current knowledge and experience to perform clinical counseling in my coaching sessions. If you're dealing with significant trauma, mental health crises, or clinical diagnoses, therapy should be your primary support. I'm always happy to provide referrals to trusted therapists.
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No and no. You are always fully clothed during our sessions, and so am I. Since we meet virtually, there is no physical touch between us. Everything we do together - even purely verbal practices - will only happen with your explicit consent. You always have the right to stop a practice, exercise, or session at any moment for any reason. Your comfort and boundaries are always the priority.
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Absolutely not. This work is for anyone who was socialized as female and carries the conditioning and shame that comes with it - whether you identify as a woman, non-binary, transmasculine, or a trans man. I welcome people of all sexual orientations, gender identities, and bodies. We've all been affected by society's repression of female sexuality, and we all deserve to heal from it.
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This really depends on your goals and what you're working on. Everybody's pace is different - some people get the breakthrough they need within 3-6 sessions, while others prefer ongoing support over several months to go really deep.
Either way, we'll check in regularly during our work together about how things are feeling and whether you want to continue. There's no particular commitment required - you're in control of your journey. You are allowed to stop, take breaks, and come back whenever you desire. I am here to support you in whatever way works best for you.
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Absolutely. Many of my clients aren't currently sexually active or in relationships - and that's completely okay.
This work is about connecting with yourself and learning all about your sexual self. The foundation of embodiment, communication skills, and understanding your sexual desires is universal and equally valuable whether you want to explore with partners or on your own.
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Yes, completely. Everything we discuss stays strictly between us. Confidentiality is a foundational part of this work, and creating a safe, judgment-free space is always my priority.
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The coaching relationship is deeply personal, especially when working with sexuality and shame. We're likely a good fit if:
You feel drawn to my approach and mission
You're ready to try somatic, experiential work, not just talk about your challenges
You want a coach who's safe, warm, and unafraid to go deep into sexual topics with you
That said, the best way to know is to try. Book a free consultation call and we'll explore whether we're a good match. You'll get a feel for my energy and approach, and I'll learn about your goals and needs. Trust your instincts during our call. If it feels right, it probably is. If it doesn’t, no hard feelings! There are many wonderful coaches and other practicians out there and I’d be happy to provide referrals.